Discipline
Knowing how to teach children behavior that is acceptable to us as parents, teachers, and society as a whole, is not easy. It is a struggle for all of us and there is no right way. Discipline is not a set of rigidly enforced mandates, but a process in which the child learns to become a social being. Here at Friends we try to teach the child in positive ways. We keep in mind the following while working with young children:
- We respect the children as individuals. We listen to their needs,respect their feelings and offer strength to a child in conflict by being non-judgmental
- We model the behavior we want to teach.
- We use natural consequences to put the responsibility on the child, and to teach him/her about making decisions. Once a consequence has been established, a child knows what to anticipate when making a choice.
- We accept the child's feelings as being neither right or wrong. We do not always accept the behavior that goes along with the feelings. We are authentic in stating our feelings about the situation.
- We tell the children what we do want rather than what we do not want. This clarifies expectations. We try to have a positive approach to discipline. We let the child know what is acceptable when they are doing something that is not acceptable.
- We give children the opportunity to, and the praise for, working things out themselves. We try to act as facilitators, and give guidance as needed.
- We encourage children to "use their words" in conflict situations.
Working on all of the above skills takes care of most of the difficult behaviors that take place between children at Friends Nursery School. We do no allow children to hurt either themselves or other children. Some children need firmer discipline than others and if a child does not respond to the above treatment we may need to do the following.
- We do not put children on "time out." We do not allow corporal punishment of any kind. We do not ridicule or emotionally punish children for behavior problems.
- If the child is out of control, the child would be removed from the situation where they might hurt another child or themselves, to a safe location. A staff member would stay with the child at all times until he/she had calmed down and could be returned to the group.
- If a child was displaying extreme behavior problems, a dangerous behavior, the staff would conference with the parents and work out an individual discipline plan for that child. This might include the child being sent home if and when the behavior arises again. If the behavior was ongoing we might suggest the child be evaluated and solicit help from the agency as to the best way to proceed with this child to be able to keep him/her in the program.
- Biting is within the normal range of behavior for preschoolers. We will deal with these situations as they arise on an individual basis.